Monday, August 6, 2012

Goodnight, you.

For what it's worth, I am truly sorry. I'm trying my best and have made leaps and bounds, but unfortunately it seems that it is too late. Most people do not understand the truth depths of depression nor what it is capable of. It changed who I was. I became someone else. And it's a constant struggle to fight the urge and resit to simply rollover every morning and simply "give in" and give up for just that one day. The problem is, that one day is never just one day. One becomes two. The next becomes three. Now you are a day or so away from the weekend so you might as well just wait until next week to do what you were supposed to. I would never wish this on my worst enemies...nor would I wish half the medications listed to treat depression on them. The side effects of most are just downright awful and must be considered carefully so that the benefits do not outweigh the risks. It should not be taken lightly... as lightly as I did at first with so many medications because I blindly trusted and followed my physician. Do your homework or pay the ultimate price, like I did. But that's another discussion for another day.

But for The One I've hurt, I am sorry. I called you late in the afternoon but your phone was turned off or battery had died. I had hoped we would meet for coffee earlier but it's okay.You have every right to be upset and angry at me. I don't blame you at all. But just remember, you are not alone. I am the one who has isolated myself from everyone and am truly alone...

And all I want is a taste of her affection
And all I want is a minute of her time
and I want her to feel the same when I'm calling out her name
Like nothings ever changed when I come home


Goodnight, you.

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