Friday, July 13, 2012

When Did Life Become So Complex?

Chris Britt Vermont Summer 2012
Chris Britt Vermont Summer 2012

When did life become so complex? When did I start believing in signs and karma and destiny and fate and all these other far-fetched desperations? When did your name become so painfully bright?

Weeks pass in this numbing bliss until, without a precursor or portent, I am thrust back into the binding constrict of bleaker days. I am catapulted to a fragmented time when my broken heart did not beat. I am tossed mercilessly into a time when tears articulated the words my voice couldn't speak. I am reunited with you only to relive this heartache.

I curse the heavens for the joyless reminder of your breathless name. I curse the heavens for this clandestine siege of my will. I curse the heavens for this nude vulnerability that remains with the abolition of my defense. I curse the heavens vainly in whispers that testify to this injustice.

Why must you dance these bewitching circles? During your absence, I am lulled into a false sense of complacency. Your presence only serves to ensnare my heart that much more deeply into this haunting torment of unrequited love.

It is the most blissful torture to love you. It is the most loathsome joy to hate you. My head and heart are divided in this. I wage this war against only myself.

No comments:

Post a Comment